Ponitless
by Phai
Summary: A little night scene between Alexandros and Hephaistion after Philippos'murder. It's really movieverse, with some points of renault's inspiration, not too much historical.


Pointless

-wi pappwi!- I awake immediatly, short breath in the night.. What the hell? I open my eyes, filled up with heavy sleep. The moonlight deeps my lover's room. My Alexander's room. My new king's apartment.

Oh Zeus! Philippos died, two long weeks ago. And I wasn't here. I wasn't here to support my Alexander.

I watch him laying on the bed, crumbling. He's asleep, but some tears come on falling from his closed eyes. They shines like drops in a spring rain. When we was at Mieza, he used to talk a lot when he dreamed; sometimes he screamed also. Then, there was me, who embraced him and gave him a little bit of peace. Not this time.

I wasn't here two weeks ago.

I was Exiled from Philippos himself, for the wedding-symposium's affaire, when Alexander and me (and his true friends) lost control. I remembered I hart King Philippos with my venomous tongue and when Kleitos tried to stop me from my babbling I punched him (well, I tried: I'm taller then him, but he's heavier). Mine was not a true exile, like Ptolomaios' or Nearchos', I was imprisoned in my father's farm, far away from Pella, far away from my Alexander. I don't know if he thought to punish Alexander more than me that way. I couldn't write to him or contact him in anyway, so when a royal message arrived two weeks ago I guessed something very important have happened.

My father was gone to Pella for the Cleopatra's wedding game, of course I wasn't invited. The first thing I thought when I saw the royal messenger was that my father was dead. But it was not my father, was Alexander's.

I run to Pella, as fast as I could. I felt guilty for not being with Alexander, I imagined his pain and her mother's terrible laughs. Then I had fear that something bad could happen to my love.

But nothing bad had happened. He became king. But I don't know if it's a good news. Not for us. Sometimes during these weeks, I ask me if it'll be un "us" from now on. Now we're adults. Now Alexander will be very powerful, will have never-ending duties. He will meet countless people, he will have some wives and child.

And me? What about me? What will he use me for? I feel useless, like a old broken toy. Yesterday I met Kleitos in the hall, we were alone. Pour Kleitos. He seems so strong, but he's not. He thought to be alone, and he was crying with a wild fury, then he saw me and forced himself to stop.

-I pray the Gods-he said to me- that you'll never understand what I feel now.-

-I'm so sorry for you, Kleitos.- I answered with my natural stubbornness.

-It's not easy to be a King's lover, Hephaistion. But it's worst to remain alone.- and the he left me with my dark thoughts.

I wonder if it's all a Dyonisus' joke or a bad dream.

-wi pappwi.. daddie..- Alexander clenches my right arm so hard I can feel the pain.

-Alexandre- I whisper in his hear. Finally, he opened his deep-brown eyes. I wipe away some tears from his face and kiss his forehead.

-Phai, I was dreaming of my father again.-

-I know. You were talking in the sleep again.-

-He…he was crying.-

-You too my love.- I hold tight him in my arms and lift his golden hair.

-He was afraid… He was… he is alone, Phai. He is alone… alone in the dark underworld. He misses all his concubines, his wife Eurydikes, me and my sisters, also my mum…but above all..- he sobs-he misses Kleitos.-

-They deeply love each other. Please, tomorrow tell Kleitos that. It'll comfort him.- He hides her head on my chest..

-Hephaistion, promise me… promise me you'll never leave me alone. Please… Please.- He cries.-I don't want to be alone..-

- I swear I'll be with you until you need me.-

-I'll always need you.- I kiss his lips tenderly and he closed his eyes, reassured.

-You, my lover….. my friend…. my father,….my brother,….my family……forever- he whispers while Morpheus re-catches him. And I say to the moon with a sad smile:

-The Eternal and the Never Happen don't' belong to us.-


End file.
